At Alo House I was greeted by Chris, who appeared slightly older than me, wearing a t-shirt with tattoos covering his arms, introducing himself to me as my new therapist. While I was also wearing a t-shirt with tattoos on my arms, the difference between Chris and I was that he undeniably had his shit together. We sat and we talked for a while upon my arrival. I remember our first conversation, which I assume was business as usual for him. I’m not sure why it was comforting that Chris wasn’t some suit and tie kind of guy, but he was easy to talk to. Our conversation went something like this:
Me: I can’t imagine not having a glass of champagne on my wedding day.
Chris: Oh, you’re getting married?
Me: No, I’m not getting married, I’m just…
Chris: (Quickly cutting me off) Oh, you have a fiance?
Me: No, no I don’t.
Chris: Oh, you have a girlfriend?
Me: Well, no.
Chris: (Long pause, allowing me to look at my delusional thinking) Right.
To this day that was one of the most impactful conversations I’ve had with anyone.
What started off as a casual conversation, turned personal real quick. For the first time in my life I began cracking in the best way possible. I started opening up and connecting. I started building relationships, participating, and strangely enjoying life. I felt a lot. I vividly remember watching movies or listening to music, and whenever a tiny emotional nerve was struck, every hair on my body stood up simultaneously. I would step outside and remember what the world smelt like. Everything was coming back, quickly.
As time went on, I began to build my life up. Although a lot of work had to be done since that first conversation with Chris, I started the journey of freeing myself from myself. I’ve experienced some incredible moments along the way. I’ve traveled the world, I built a company with some of the most passionate people I’ve ever met, I finally got that girlfriend that Chris was asking about (the same girl I lost prior to getting sober), I became close with my family, and made a group of friends that truly care about me. Was this more than I thought that I could possibly attain? Definitely.
For anyone that’s thinking about making the hardest decision in their life- is it worth it? Absolutely.
Stay tuned for Part 2 to see where my life is at now.